Adding more love but also more distance
Apr. 8th, 2008 10:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
awfulhorridWhere to even begin?
I went to visit![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
isolde_deely over a nice long weekend -- leaving Friday morning and returning Monday evening. The plan was ... well, the plan was to not really have a plan. Neither of us had any expectations going in; I was going to visit a friend and that was it. Certainly we discussed the normal "safety" issues just in case, but we didn't plan anything more than "let's see where things go and take it from there." And as it turned out, things went really well.
We met at GenCon 2004 and have known each other on line for several years now, so we weren't complete strangers, but there are subtle nuances that just don't come across over the screens of text that really hit with full force when you're face to face. When you're together in real space you have the synchronicity of words, the sudden dawning realization of connectivity as you have random discussions and ramblings that you probably would have parred down in text. Then there's the spark as you touch and feel the warmth of one anothers skin or the blend of colors in the hair and the beautiful pool of the eyes. No, that definitely does not come across the internet. Not by a long shot, kiddies.
By Saturday evening we were both pretty sure we were in love with the other person ... and we were both scared to say so since we didn't want to frighten them away. I know I slipped 'love you' into phrases at least twice, although I caught myself once. It just seemed so natural that it was almost punctuation. Finally Sunday morning I woke up and I could tell she was a bit worried. When I asked her what was wrong it didn't take us long to realize we both felt it and how we were both afraid to say it. That made it easier for us to say that simple phrase that means so much and no one was frightened away! Yay!
Of course it's a long distance relationship, isn't it? Nothing is perfect and that's the main flaw here ... that 7 hour drive (about 350 miles) really puts a damper on casual plans, doesn't it? Although I was able to stay a day later than originally planned, it wasn't enough. I really didn't want to leave yet. Burningly so, achingly so. I almost turned around about 50 miles into Indiana, but I knew it wasn't a good idea for either of us. I also missedbookwurm and my kitties a great deal and wanted to see them too. That's one of the oddities to polyamorous relationships that I think outsiders sometimes have difficulty understanding ... heck that we sometimes have difficulty understanding. When I was there, I missed Fran, even though I was very happy to be with Melissa. Now that I'm back here, I miss Melissa although I'm also happy to be here with Fran. (No doubt even stranger to non-poly people ... Fran has comforted me and offered sympathy over the fact that I miss Melissa. Yes, we're quite aware of the oddities of this whole thing.)
So would someone please bring those transporters online already?
I went to visit
isolde_deely over a nice long weekend -- leaving Friday morning and returning Monday evening. The plan was ... well, the plan was to not really have a plan. Neither of us had any expectations going in; I was going to visit a friend and that was it. Certainly we discussed the normal "safety" issues just in case, but we didn't plan anything more than "let's see where things go and take it from there." And as it turned out, things went really well.We met at GenCon 2004 and have known each other on line for several years now, so we weren't complete strangers, but there are subtle nuances that just don't come across over the screens of text that really hit with full force when you're face to face. When you're together in real space you have the synchronicity of words, the sudden dawning realization of connectivity as you have random discussions and ramblings that you probably would have parred down in text. Then there's the spark as you touch and feel the warmth of one anothers skin or the blend of colors in the hair and the beautiful pool of the eyes. No, that definitely does not come across the internet. Not by a long shot, kiddies.
By Saturday evening we were both pretty sure we were in love with the other person ... and we were both scared to say so since we didn't want to frighten them away. I know I slipped 'love you' into phrases at least twice, although I caught myself once. It just seemed so natural that it was almost punctuation. Finally Sunday morning I woke up and I could tell she was a bit worried. When I asked her what was wrong it didn't take us long to realize we both felt it and how we were both afraid to say it. That made it easier for us to say that simple phrase that means so much and no one was frightened away! Yay!
Of course it's a long distance relationship, isn't it? Nothing is perfect and that's the main flaw here ... that 7 hour drive (about 350 miles) really puts a damper on casual plans, doesn't it? Although I was able to stay a day later than originally planned, it wasn't enough. I really didn't want to leave yet. Burningly so, achingly so. I almost turned around about 50 miles into Indiana, but I knew it wasn't a good idea for either of us. I also missed
bookwurm and my kitties a great deal and wanted to see them too. That's one of the oddities to polyamorous relationships that I think outsiders sometimes have difficulty understanding ... heck that we sometimes have difficulty understanding. When I was there, I missed Fran, even though I was very happy to be with Melissa. Now that I'm back here, I miss Melissa although I'm also happy to be here with Fran. (No doubt even stranger to non-poly people ... Fran has comforted me and offered sympathy over the fact that I miss Melissa. Yes, we're quite aware of the oddities of this whole thing.)So would someone please bring those transporters online already?
